Having difficulty setting boundaries, standing up for yourself, or saying no.Being passive-aggressive when you interact with others.Feeling uncomfortable when others share intimate emotions with you.Experiencing chronic muscle tension or headaches.Feeling the need to control many things in your life.Becoming defensive when accused of being angry.Overusing distraction or avoidance to cope with difficult emotions.Being uncomfortable with conflict or confrontation.Never feeling angry, but often feeling sad or depressed.This defensiveness makes it harder for them to accept and recognize their anger, making them more likely to minimize, ignore, or deny it. They don’t want to admit when they are frustrated, even when it is very clear to other people. People who repress anger often become defensive when they are accused of being angry. Many who repress anger describe missing early anger cues like their heart rate increasing, blood pressure going up, or feeling tense, restless, or on edge. Some individuals don’t notice these changes until their anger reaches extreme levels or they lash out at someone. Repressed anger can manifest in many ways, causing subtle changes to the way people feel, think, and behave. Struggling with impulse control and emotion regulation.Having a position of authority that requires a stoic, neutral personality.Having the tendency to intellectualize your emotions.Certain medical conditions like traumatic brain injuries.Using mood-altering substances like drugs or alcohol.Struggling with a mental health condition like depression, anxiety, or PTSD.Having perfectionistic or neurotic tendencies.Being rejected for expressing anger in the past.However, it’s important to remember that there isn’t a single cause for this phenomenon, and many genetic and environmental factors can contribute to how people express and process emotions.Ĭommon causes and triggers of repressed anger include: 1, 3, 4 1, 3, 4 In another example, some people who grew up in a house with an abusive parent might associate anger with fear, danger, or damaged relationships. For instance, if you grew up in a household that shamed or criticized emotional expression, you may have internalized the belief that it isn’t safe to talk about or express your feelings, causing you to repress emotions instead of express them. In some cases, you might not have felt allowed to feel or talk about your anger as a child. 1 Cultural norms also factor into how people learn to express anger, with girls frequently learning it is unacceptable to express anger. In turn, this causes them to internalize anger about what happened to them. 3 After experiencing trauma, many people feel confused, sad, or ashamed, and blame themselves for what happened. Repressed anger can occur for many reasons, but traumatic experiences in childhood trauma are the most common culprit. 1, 2 Causes & Triggers of Repressed Anger Repression of anger is anger that is not expressed, usually because people subconsciously want to ignore it or avoid it, often out of fear or shame. There are different ways that people respond when they are angry, and various methods of expressing anger. 1Īnger is a universal secondary emotion all humans experience, typically in response to situations that are perceived as upsetting, stressful, or unfair. Individuals who struggle with repressed anger often say, “ I never get angry!” because they are unaware of their anger. Repressed anger is different from suppressed anger, which refers to the feelings people purposely avoid. Repressed anger is anger that is unintentionally avoided, often as an attempt to avoid uncomfortable feelings related to stress, conflict, and tension.
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